Teach Me Your World, Mommy - Meaningful Early Education
My devotion to our first child’s betterment began during my pregnancy, when I listened to lots of classical music, took lots of walks, thought lots of lofty thoughts. When Ian was mere weeks old, I bought a book on baby exercise—yes, baby exercise!! I dutifully followed the prescribed twice-a-day regimen, moving his tiny limbs around and about, folding and stretching his new little body this way and that. It promised to “optimize” his sensory-motor development, which sounded good to me. As luck and providence would have it, I soon discovered R.I.E. (Resources for Infant Educarers) and what they taught there had the blessed ring of truth. Actually, the booming gong of truth. And I listened.
I could relax. I didn’t have to “improve upon” or “maximize” anything! Ian had an innate intelligence that knew exactly how to unfold his unique body; it didn’t need me to pose it, bend it, or prop it into positions that were not yet natural for him. When he sat up on his own, it was with a beautifully erect spine… and when he walked, it was graceful and (mostly) stumble-free—like his R.I.E. classmates! Because they did it when their bodies were ready, not when our adult agendas decided they needed a head start using swings, walkers, bouncers and such. This was my first wondrous taste of Developmentally Appropriate Education.
We all want the best for our children. But in trying to figure out exactly what is best for children, parents are met with a dizzying selection of “enrichment” options, including prenatal stimulation and infant education programs. I wouldn’t be as outraged about the baby improvement industry’s greedy exploitation of parental insecurities, if the Baby Einstein™s and BabyPlus™es were based on anything resembling real brain or developmental science. They’re not. (Moreover, the Baby Einstein™ juggernaut in its hubris thumbs its nose at the American Academy of Pediatrics’ warning that children under two should not watch television, period!)
The growing mainstream recognition that babies, even in the womb, do learn and remember is a fantastic development, one that should guide us in more respectful approaches to pregnancy, birth and the early months. But the manner in which most of these programs/products misuse this understanding is a disheartening reflection of our culture’s approach toward early education in general: bombard the child with data.
Myriad forms of “infant media” as well as prenatal stimulation gadgetry allow for electronically-delivered data to be installed in your baby while you are free to do something else. Yes, babies love it and definitely get hooked. But wait a minute! There is solid consensus among real brain and development scientists that all meaningful early learning takes place in the context of relationship. And typically for the first few years that primary relationship is with Mom—including, of course, prenatal learning. This said, I wonder about the relational messages inherent in these very early “educational” experiences—that while I love him I need more from him somehow? That I want him to perform better? That there are already conditions being imposed on my relationship with him? It seems that both baby and mother suffer a kind of loss. For the baby, it is “I am not okay just being me. I have to accomplish something, maximize my potential.” For the mother it is, “I am not enough, I can’t provide the best for my baby by being myself.”
Indeed, in today’s technocratic, information-revolutionized world, a pregnant or new mom simply “being herself” can end up feeling behind the curve and even somewhat negligent in foregoing newfangled inventions available to optimize her baby. But the most scientifically proven early education program consists of a mother’s perceptions of the world, as “taught” to her baby through her thoughts, feelings, words and behavior! Any prenatal or infant education program must meaningfully relate to the baby’s ever-present question, What kind of world am I coming into, Mommy, through your eyes?
I’m not suggesting moms be in constant contact with their babies; we all need breaks! But best to cultivate “Mom-alternative” activities for your baby and toddler that will foster imagination and intelligence, rather than prefab, electronically-mediated programming, which actually stunts it. You will be rewarded with a child who is capable of richly imaginative, self-motivated play and meaningful learning.
A fundamental developmental principle, at work on every level from cellular to global, is that there is either love (safety) and growth… or fear (threat) and the halting of growth. And isn’t the “early stimulation” approach based on an oblique kind of fear? That the baby, left to the mysteries of Life and his loving connection with his mother won’t be quite enough? If a mother wants to foster the intelligence of her child, then love and communion—with herself, with her baby, and with Life—is the essential curriculum.
As it turns out, all my classical music, long walks and good thoughts were great prenatal education for our son—because they were activities that delighted me. Do what inspires you, trust Life, and your baby will be enriched beyond measure.
For information about R.I.E., call 323-663-5330 or visit www.rie.org.