Lifelong Lessons From The Womb
Gone are the days when we could consider pregnancy a 9-month “grace period” before the job of parenting began. Mounting research tells us that everything we do—beginning even before conception—shapes our children in critical, life-altering ways.
Scientists are finding that our health throughout life is greatly determined by circumstances in the womb in which we developed. This fetal “programming” is different than what happens in conditions such as fetal alcohol syndrome, for instance, where the toxic effects of the womb environment are noticeable at birth or early in life. These new findings refer to conditions programmed during fetal development which may not show up until an individual is in his or her forties or fifties! For example, there are now strong links between low birth weight and heart disease; poor nutrition in early pregnancy and diabetes; and high birth weight and breast cancer in women.
The practical effect of this research shouldn’t be for pregnant mothers to panic, but rather, be vigilant about following the nutritional guidelines provided by your doctor or midwife, such as getting enough folic acid beginning before conception, eating enough extra calories—of the proper foods—during pregnancy, and gaining the recommended amount of weight.
The Mind is Also Shaped in the Womb
There is far more to an individual than his or her physical body, and scientists now recognize that it is during fetal development that the personality also begins to be organized! This supports findings from the field of prenatal and perinatal psychology, that have long suggested that circumstances surrounding conception, pregnancy, labor, birth and the postpartum period have profound influences on lifelong emotional health and well-being. There are countless fascinating case histories in the literature to support the connection between experiences in utero and certain compulsions, repetitive behaviors, fears and fascinations in later life.
Current research supports the impact conception circumstances, for instance, can have upon the developing child. A 1993 cross-cultural study found that infants whose conceptions had been planned showed higher levels of cognitive capacity and attachment to their mothers at three months of age than did unplanned infants whose mothers received the same level of prenatal care.
The hot scientific topic these days is brain development. Data from rigorous studies point to the likelihood that a pregnant mother’s chronic stress has long-term negative effects upon the developing fetal brain, including an increased predisposition to depression and lower tolerance for stress later in life.
(Please note, all you moms-to-be out there, that I said chronic stress! Occasional, passing difficulties or a stressful day here and there is not what this is about, so relax!!)
You see, nature in her wisdom has decreed that while we’re in the womb, our brain develops in direct response to our mother’s experience of the world. Scientists now know that a pregnant woman’s moods have a significant impact upon the brain development of her baby in the womb. If a mother is constantly filled with anxiety or stress during her pregnancy, the “message” communicated to her baby (via stress hormones) is that they are in an unsafe environment—regardless of whether or not this is objectively true. The baby’s cells will actually mutate (adapt) to prepare it for the unsafe environment it perceives it is going to be born into! The baby’s brain development will be particularly affected—chronic stress in pregnancy tends to build a brain suited to survive in dangerous environments: quick to react, reduced impulse control, and a dampened capacity to feel calm and content. (Researchers are beginning to look at stress in pregnancy as a possible underlying causal factor in attention deficit disorder.) These kinds of temperamental traits form the foundations of personality.
Research tells us that chronic stress during pregnancy can make for a temperamental baby… difficult to soothe and calm… a baby who is challenging to parent… and thus the seeds can be sown this early for parents and child to get stuck in the sad but common vicious cycle of not being able to really connect in a satisfying way.
Here, it seems, we see “science and spirit” intersecting — “hard” research from the field of neuroscience is now giving empirical credence to what many esoteric and spiritual wisdom traditions have been saying through the ages—that during the time when we are being “knit together” in the womb, we are “wired” with lifelong lifelong lessons about who we are and how we fit into the world.
What’s a Mother-to-Be to Do??!
Remember, if a pregnant mother’s thoughts and emotions are persistently negative, if she is under unrelenting stress, the internal message—delivered by hormones to the developing baby—is, “It’s a dangerous world out there,” and the fetal brain is then wired to thrive in a dangerous world!
That kind of brain is reactive and impulsive, is short on attention, and may not easily register feelings of satisfaction or contentment… It is a brain more well-suited to fighting than to loving. There are thoughts that regulation disorders such as ADD/ADHD, ODD, etc., may have their beginnings in the womb while the brain’s basic regulatory wiring is being laid down. (View a video clip of Dr Axness and other experts discussing this in more depth.)
This all sounds so daunting and hopeless. But parents who understand just a few basics of fetal development hold an important key to their child’s lifelong emotional health and well-being! Parents need to understand the unceasing question being asked by the baby in the womb—and continually answered chemically and energetically via the mother’s thoughts, feelings and behaviors: What kind of world am I coming into, Mommy, through your eyes? If they understand that this basic question—and its 9 months’ worth of answers!—is what essentially drives fundamental aspects of their baby’s brain development, then parents can begin to understand how important it is for the pregnant mother to feel supported, to feel loved, to feel safe… so their baby can arrive ready to love and learn, not struggle and fight!
Author and teacher Laura Huxley, widow of visionary author Aldous Huxley, offers this practical suggestion in her gorgeous book, The Child of Your Dreams:
…if you can take even five minutes a day, to think good thoughts, listen to your favorite music, or nourish yourself in any way you want, your kindness will be multiplied a thousandfold and become an organic part of a person’s being for years to come. Five minutes of care is worth years of well-being. What’s more, you can talk to the embryo, sending it warm, reassuring messages, even verbal ones.
U.C. Berkeley biology professor Marian Diamond advises pregnant women to eat enough protein and B vitamins; exercise to keep placental circulation active; and stay away from stress if possible. She points out that the Japanese have said this for over 2000 years—“Tykio,” which means, “think pleasant thoughts.”
And A Father-to-Be?
One of the best ways that a “pregnant father” can contribute to his baby’s optimal development in the womb is to love, support, celebrate and cherish his baby’s mother! And, to dream of the great and noble qualities he dreams of for his coming child. Whatever fears, qualms or anxieties he may have about his impending fatherhood are important to discuss and explore—with someone other than his partner. She most needs to feel him at his strongest and surest at this time. A trusted friend, a counselor, a pastor, priest or rabbi, etc., are all excellent sources of support for the expectant father!
Prenatal Quantum Parenting
There are researchers who suggest that one of the best ways that parents can best support their baby’s psychological development in the womb is to embrace pregnancy as an honor, and to greet the intelligence in your baby as if it is alive and aware and registering everything you do and say! Mounting research shows that this kind of conscious approach to prenatal parenting can lead to advances in healthy child development, probably because it cultivates early loving relationships toward the unborn child, and strengthens parental and familial bonding.
In short, it is prenatal Quantum Parenting!